10 Things He Wishes You Knew

I was reading a magazine and came across the "man manual" section.

The article was titled
"10 Things Guys Wish You Knew"

So here they are:
(Fella's who read my blog will you let me know which ones are true?)

10 Things Guys Wish You Knew
1. You look sexy when you're puffy from lying on the pillow all night.
(This is funny because my roommates and I were just talking about how no girls sleeps pretty! You always have your mouth half open with your face squished and your hair matted to your cheeks)
2. We don't understand your addiction to celebrity gossip. Whatever you do, don't talk about it on a date.
3. Guys get a monthly type of PMS too. We get moody and need our space.
4. It's the hottest thing when you say, "Are you going to kiss me now?"
5. We read and reread your texts and e-mails.
6. It's annoying when a girl continues to ask, "What's really on your mind?" Eventually, the answer is going to be "You asking stupid questions is what's on my mind."
7. A lot of us are insecure about our bodies. Women look like beautiful, soft, gorgeous angels when they're naked. We look like hairy orgers or little scrawny trolls.
8. It's cool when a girl isn't weird about food. I love a woman who will eat something slimy.
9. Never tell a guy he's just like your father. It creeps us out.
****Parental Advisory of Sorts****
10. Put on a men's dress shirt and nothing else. We'll be able to unbutton it no problem, and it shows off your legs in a wonderful way.

Dear Jason

My friend Jason told me he read my blog (even though he didn't leave a comment) and he thought perhaps a blog or two were directed at him.

Well Jason, this blog IS directed at you!

If you read my blog you HAVE to leave a comment!
And STOP calling me Stacy :D

ps: sorry about the funky side angle picture...that is all I had and I am not a creeper who would save a picture of you from your facebook page to put on my blog and I can't post a blog without a picture.

The Magic That Is Me

I know that more often than not I write blogs that make me seem like the most narcissistic person in the world.
Really I'm not! I, like most girls and even some men I presume, am incredibly insecure and self-conscious so I tell myself (and everyone else) they should love me!

Well today I took a quiz on facebook that professed to tell me my best "trait". It was Joyfullness and this was the description it gave me:

You light up a room with your smile and laughter, and people gravitate to you because of your joyfulness. You love life and get excited about all it has to offer. You love to cheer people up and give them encouragement when they are down. Your bubbly personality and genuine smile brighten up peoples' day. Your positive attitude helps lighten up those who take life too seriously. You know how to have fun, let loose, be spontaneous. Be it life's greatest experiences or just the small simple details of life, you soak it all up and it inspires everyone around you...

Even though it was a stupid facebook thing I felt like it really did describe me! I've had my roommates and other friends lately tell me that almost word for word!
I say it all the time, but I LOVE making people happy! I love making people smile!
It BUGS me when there is someone who refuses to let me make them happy! It kind of makes me feel like I'm failing in some way! Like my job is to go around spreading joy and happiness and if I can't make everyone smile I lose the game!
************
ADDITION:
So my friend Jason read my blog (even though I have told him MILLIONS of times he can't read my blog without leaving a comment) and he thought one of my blogs had to do with him. Well if you want me to name names Jason, I can!
It BUGS me that I can't make you smile! For some reason I'm always drawn to these guys who I can't make smile (michael haas anyone??) and I refuse to let them go until they realize how amazing I am!
There you have it! I won't leave you alone until you realize how amazing I am!

Open Mouth Insert Foot

Lately I've been saying things that I regret!
Everyone knows the saying, "If you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all." I should probably heed that council.
The other day a group of my friends and I were sitting around talking. We started talking about a date my roommate had gone on. The guy was really nice but he was a real big dork! So when my guy friends asked my roommate to explain why he was a dork I decided to step in. I started with, "Well the first time I met this guy......" (and three of the guys interrupted me and said, "we know him!" and proceeded to say his name followed by affirmations of their love for him. I wanted to crawl under the table!
A few days later I was talking about a Biology teacher I hated and was saying how awful of a teacher he was and my roommate said, "Well he is probably never going to teach here again." (she is a biology major and knows everything that goes on in the biology department). I asked why and she proceeded to tell me that he was in a motorcycle accident with his 11 year old daughter. The daughter had major skull fractures and my teacher also had major skull fractures and they had to amputate his leg and they aren't sure if he has any brain activity left or if he is even going to survive much longer.
I felt horrible!

So basically I need to start talking nicer.

Liar Liar Pants On Fire!

The other day a few of my roommates and our guy friends were having a discussion about dating do's and don'ts and favorite and worst date stories.
At some point in the discussion my roommate (I think it was my roommate) asked the guys if it was ok for a girl to ask a guy on a date, or if guys didn't like that.
All the guys said they would never turn a girl down and that they don't mind when a girl asks them. The only problem is the "who is gonna pay?" situation which, now that I think about it, we didn't resolve.

Anyway....I'm calling them out!
That is a huge lie!

Girls shouldn't have to ask guys out anyway, guys should be on top of that.

Lame-o!

The Way Your Smile Just Beams....

I'm writing a things I love blog. Hopefully it'll get me out of my funk. I'm sick of being in a funk.

I LOVE so you think you can dance! I have a class that doesn't end until 1/2 hour into the show so I have to watch the first few dances online but it is SO worth it!

I love having a clean kitchen. I can't function in a messy kitchen.
We have fhe at my house every Monday, and even though I'm sure my bros don't really care about the cleanliness of my kitchen I clean it for them, which always puts me in a better mood because nothing is worse than a sink full of dishes.
(unrinsed ones at that)

I shouldn't love facebook, and sometimes I don't, but more often than not I do.

Mmmmm, I LOVE these pizza's! They aren't very many calories (330 or something close to that) and they are filling and DELICIOUS!

I love the Cash Cab. The questions are more realistic than Jeopardy plus there is something very attractive about Ben Bailey. It might be his voice.

I love steak, and I can't eat a steak without A1!

I love that this picture on facebook has 1,042 comments on it, and about 1,000 of them have NOTHING to do with the picture.

I love my car. It gets me where I want to go and it does it in style.

I love laughing, but more importantly I love making people laugh. I said it in a previous blog, but nothing makes me happier than making someone smile or laugh.

You Can Stand Under My Umbrella.....For Now

I've got a personal space bubble. I don't hug. I don't give or receive massages. I'll never ask you to scratch my back and if you ask me to scratch yours I'll respectfully decline. I don't like touching people and I don't like them touching me.

For some reason lately I've just wanted to give people a big hug. Not a little hug, a big hold for a few seconds hug.

Plus I heard somewhere that hugs help lower your blood pressure decreasing your risk of heart disease. I don't want heart disease.

I've also wanted to "snuggle" with someone. I snuggled with someone once in my lifetime and I'm pretty sure I could snuggle with someone again, it'd just have to be the right person (and by right person I don't mean I need to be in love to snuggle, snuggling is so non-committal! I mean I'd have to be comfortable snuggling with that person. I can't snuggle with a twig!)

So if you are within hugging distance of me I'd invite you to let me give you a hug.
This bubble might not have this hole in it for very long so act quickly.

And if any gentlemen would let me snuggle with them so I can fill my snuggle void that'd be awesome! I wouldn't even read anything into it like some girls would.

Hugs are like emotional Heimlich's.
Someone puts their arms around you and they give you a squeeze and all your fear and anxiety come shooting out of your mouth in a big wet wad and you can breath again.
-Chuck from Pushing Daisies

Supersize My Dog

My parents boarded my dog at the vet for the week they were in Utah and my dog wouldn't eat anything because he was depressed (poor little guy). So the vet, in a last attempt to get my dog to eat something went to McDonalds and bought him a chicken sandwhich (my dog is allergic to beef so it had to be chicken).
My dog ate it.
We don't feed my dog McDonalds on a regular basis, or ever actually so who knows why he would only eat that.
Weird

...No One Here Thinks I'm Funny

(I just gave someone crap for not reading my blog and then I realized, Wait a minute! I haven't update my blog in forever, who wants to read crusty old blogs??! So here is a new one, don't everyone comment at once!)

For those who don't know me as well as they should, I'm an entertainer.

I love nothing more than to make someone smile and if I can make someone laugh my day is complete!

I knew I had a career in making sad people happy again when I made my English teacher (Mr. Byrn) slap his knee with a joke I told. From then on I never questioned my skills.

I work with this guy, and unbeknown to him it makes my day when I get to work with him because I swear he laughs at everything I say.

This just works back into my vanity, but I've convinced myself that my smile is contagious. I smile at people and sometimes I can't understand why they won't smile back.

(ok, sorry I know this is a rant but the other day at church I looked behind me two rows and saw my friend so I smiled at her but the guy in the row right behind me smiled at me because he thought I was looking at him, haha)

I bring this up because it is rare that I can't find someone I can at least make chuckle, but I recently spent some time with people who didn't even crack a smile at my jokes!

Of course my sisters were rolling on the floor but not even a smirk from the others.

What gives?

Is my contagious smile not contagious anymore?

I couldn't imagine living in a world where I couldn't make the people around me smile!

So Long, Farewell

Well I'm finally over my crush.
I had kind of decided I was over it when the "him" started being a complete jackass (sorry mom), but it became more official today.
The "benefits" of my crush have worn off.
(healthy nails and speedy hair growth)
I broke two nails today and my hair kept falling out of my ponytail, evidence that my hair isn't growing as quickly as I'd like it to.

Too bad.

I Guess It's Almost Been A Year....

Well my faithful blog readers...It's almost been a year since I conformed to the blogspot ways!


I want to thank everyone who has read and enjoyed my blog this past year!( I guess I could also thank those who don't enjoy my blog but read it anyway)
I'll even thank those who didn't comment even when they read!

Here are some highlights from 132 blogs.
I hope you have as much fun re-reading them as I did.
Darn Those Storm Drains!
I Can't Think Of A Title
Broken Chair
On A Lighter Note
Don't Speak
A Couple Cookies Short of a Platter
Get Over It
Where For Art Thou Chivalry


Most Commented: You're Just Not My 'Type'
Least Commented: Words of Wisdom

Ok-one more thing! I was re reading all these blogs to see which were my favorites and I came across this I Have A Dream... blog. It was funny because last night I had a dream that Ryan Lochte and I were at a pool and he was getting ready to swim but the water was too cold. I was trying to tell the janitor that the water was too cold but he didn't understand me because I didn't speak Chinese. So I asked my friend Jason who was in my dream to translate for me because he knew Chinese and he refused to translate and just rolled his eyes with his hands in his pockets. (because I'm sure most of you didn't follow the link to the I have a dream blog, I'll just tell you that I had a previous dream with Ryan Lochte and things were messed up because I didn't speak Chinese)

Climacophobia

NOTICE:
I know that the only blogger worse than a blogger who never updates is the blogger who updates three times in one day. I apologize and just know that you are under no obligation to read any of the previous blogs, they are kinda boring anyway....

Last semester I was following my roommate Lydia down the stairs and for some reason when she reached the bottom and turned to go to her room my brain told me I was done with the stairs as well and should reach for my doorknob which is right at the bottom of the stairs.

Needless to say I was brought to my knees as I fell down the last two steps.

Not too long after that I was helping a friend carry groceries into her house when I fell down the one stair that led to her apartment, inspiring this blog.

Well ever since both of those incidents I've been quasi afraid of stairs. I always have to hold the rail when I'm descending, and I always have to look when I get to the bottom to make sure I'm actually at the bottom.

It is quite pathetic actually.

Words of Wisdom

And always remember, for the most part, guys are shallow and don't care to look too deeply into personality...even though you are the most amazing girl in the world!
-Kathy Nelson

Thanks Mom! That made my morning!

Which Movies Describes Your Life Best?!

I think I've tripped and fallen into a, "He's Just Not That Into You" situation.

I can't tell really though. Which is what the movie is basically about; some poor girl can't tell if guys are into her and Bam! we have a movie.
What is worse is that I have my amazing roommates (who all seem to think I'M amazing) saying, "Give him time!" and "I promise I saw him looking at you!" and "You are so cute he has to notice you!" and "Oh my gosh! He sat by you and not by me, that means he HAS to be interested!"
Blah!
I am bitter.

But you know what, I'm not so much bitter at the "him" in this situation as I am at the presence of a situation at all. I am happy with just having a friend. I don't ask for the stupid smiling at the mention of his name. It cramps my style!

Is it possible that I have found the first male crockpot? (you know the phrase 'men are microwaves, women are crockpots?)

Maybe he is just as shy as I am. Perhaps he is trying to gage my interest in him.
Haha! Look at me making excuses! That is the definition of Lame.

Whatever! I guess having a crush is good. I was watching this show about sex appeal (I know I know... don't give me crap about it! It was VERY interesting) and it said when we have a crush our hair grows and our nails grow because extra endorphins are being released into the body to make us "more attractive". So I might not get my first kiss (I know I know... don't give me crap about that either!) but I will get healthier nails and my hair will grow.
(which is kinda handy cause I just cut my hair and the lady cut it a little too short)

ps: to my blogging friends who plan on commenting, which should be everyone, if I have ever mentioned the name of said "crush" to you don't use it in your comment. that is just bad looking out
pps: I still think my hair looks really good in my picture and I'm a little sad I cut it even though a lot of people have told me it is cute