It's Been a Year

The day Kacy Grace died was single handedly the saddest day of my life.

She brought so much happiness and joy to not only me, but to everyone who knew her.

I often have moments where I am overcome with sadness for the loss of my sweet baby girl.

And though I miss her SO much, I can't help but think about how much peace I feel when I think about where she is, and who she is with.

Sitting in the hospital, after holding her for the last time, my mind immediately went to the picture "Heavenly Hands" by Greg Olsen.  People have told me how much the little girl in the picture looked like me when I was little, and people had also told me how much Kacy looked like me. The picture, to me, illustrated what was happening beyond this realm, at that very moment. And though I cried (and still cry when I see it) I felt comfort.

The first day I went to work after she left us (after taking the Disney CD with the song Baby Mine out of rotation) I heard Vocal Point singing Danny Boy, and they added a verse at the end that again, reminded me of Kacy Grace and the picture:

"So if you've died and crossed the stream before us,

we pray that angels met you on the shore;

and you'll look down and gently you'll implore us,

to live that we may see your smiling face once more."

I am comforted because I know she is in good hands.

I am comforted because I know she is happy.

I am comforted because I know I will see Kacy Grace again one day, and she'll be waiting for me on the shore, smiling (and probably doing a bunny face).

Foul

I am amazed by the amount of people I see not wash their hands.

I'm not a lover of public restrooms, but if I have to use one, I will.  The other day a woman flushed, came out of the stall, checked herself out in the mirror, fixed her hair, and then walked out of the bathroom, WITHOUT washing her hands. What did she touch as she left the store? What fruit did she test for ripeness? What cart was she using?

I am just amazed that grown adults can't be bothered to do such a basic hygienic practice.

On another note. A while ago I was again in a public restroom. There was a little girl standing by the paper towels waiting for her mom to finish. I went to the sink to wash my hands, and as I squirted soap on my hands (pre running them under the water) the little girl said, "Hey! You're supposed to get your hands wet FIRST and THEN put soap on them!"

It was funny.

Not so smarty pants!

I've been told I'm a smart person.

I would agree, but......sometimes I'm really really NOT smart.

Here are a few examples.

In church there is always a bell that rings loudly throughout the building sometime near the end of the second hour of church.  For 28 years I thought that bell was just some stupid kid ringing the doorbell outside the church.  Turns out it is a 5 minute warning bell so the Sunday School teachers know when to quit.

As a kid in primary we sang a song called Nephi's Courage.  In the chorus it says, "I know the Lord provides a way, he wants me to obey."  Up until a few months ago I thought it said, "I know the Lord provides away, he wants me to obey." As if providing like leaving, and the Lord "provides" away.  Like running away, he "provides" away.  Yeah.....seriously, thought that for like 25 years.

I've lived in Nauvoo my whole life.  The main street uptown is called Mulholland.  If driving west out of town on Mulholland street, the road naturally curves so you are now headed south.  OR you can go straight, but with the road, it feels natural to go around the curve.  Two days ago, I realized that when the street curves, it stops being Mulholland street and becomes Durphy street. So if someone is looking for the State Park they will find it on Durphy Street.  My mind was blown.

A few years ago I went to the DMV to get my license renewed. As we were doing the eye exam (which required me looking into a tiny machine), the lady asked me to read line 8. I read it, which went something like, "a,s,v,d,", and she said, "can you finish the line?" And I said, "that's all that is there." So she said, "...ummm can you read the line above it?" So I did, and it went something like this, "u,t,p,f,". And again she said, "can you finish the line?" And again I said, "there aren't anymore letters." So now she was quasi worried and asked me to read the very top line. I said, "ok, but it only has 4 letters too." She had me pull my face back from the machine, and as I did I realized my right eye was closed during the whole exam. I looked back in the machine, and four more letters appeared on the end of each line.

Haha! Right?!

They gave me a license anyway.

The Power IN Prayer

I was scrolling through Pinterest the other day and I came across this quote:

Our prayers may be awkward. Our attempts may be feeble. But since the power of prayer is in the One who hears it and not in the one who says it, our prayers DO make a difference. -Max Lucado

There is a lady from our community who has been coming to church every Sunday for the past couple of months. She knows a lot of us from working within the community, so I think she is comfortable being there, but not until recently did she make comments in Sunday School or Relief Society. This past Sunday I had to find a person to say the prayer in Relief Society before conducting.  I immediately thought of asking her, because I just really want her to feel included.  Being a Baptist (or former Baptist) I wasn't sure if she would accept.  I asked her and she looked at me like, "are you sure?!", and said, "I'd be honored!"

Her prayer was definitely not a "typical" LDS prayer.  She didn't say "Thee", or "Thou", or "Thy", or "Dear Heavenly Father", but there WAS a spirit brought to the room because of her prayer.

It just reaffirms the quote.

The power of our prayers isn't in the clever things we try to say. (Cause let's face it, whenever I have to say a prayer for a group, I spend lots of time trying to rehearse the prayer in my head so I don't sound like an imbecile when I stand up.)  The power rests solely on our Heavenly Father, and if we sincerely desire what we are praying for (not matter HOW we say it) He WILL answer it.

Really?

My love of infomercials has inspired a blog before, but I found a couple on youtube that I couldn't pass up the opportunity to share with anyone who still reads my blog.

Enjoy!

Have I Stooped?

I hope my blog doesn't just turn into a rant blog but I have to rant at the moment.

Feel free to stop reading because this is more of a therapy for me than entertainment for anyone else.

Instead of giving a big back story I'm just going to say that the owner of our building, Gregg Bragg, is....mean.

He told us he was going to see how possible it was get central heat and air in our building, and it IS possible, but it is going to cost him $5,000 (pocket change for him, might I add) so he told us he was just going to get us window units.

Well here is the problem with window units in our apartment:

The windows in our apartment are OLD and rotting away and there is about a 1/4 inch gap where the wood has rotted away from the glass and it allows all kinds of things (including precious COOL air) to escape.

The electric wiring in our apartment is OLD. Instead of having outlets that have two plugs (both being grounded) the outlets we have have three plugs and none of them are grounded. And the outlets are few and far between, so they are all occupied.

If he is going to give us window units he can at least buy NEW window units instead of giving us the circa 1970 units his handyman (and newly hired handyman sidekick) just installed.

The handyman was given orders to put a window unit in the bedroom and hallway (those windows are literally like 10 feet apart). But given the old electricity there are no outlets in hallway, so that means he put a unit in the kitchen instead. Plus the handyman was given orders to not put window units in the living room because the living room faces the street and that would "look tacky". Well we LIVE in the living room! I'd rather have a window unit in the living room then the kitchen!

All he does is cosmetic work! Make it look nice and no one will ask questions.

I saw a poll on his stores facebook page (Cover to Cover books and gifts) asking what the design for the awnings on his newly refurbished building should look like.

I am tempted to post a comment on that poll that reads something like this:

"How about instead of sprucing up the outside of the building, you fix the inside first!"

UPDATE:

Jessie called Gregg to inform him of our disappointments and I think he was trying to win her over by telling her of his plans to give us HEATED SIDEWALKS, but we aren't won over!

SCREW THE HEATED SIDEWALKS!

If You were a Fly on my Wall

If there was a Fly on my Wall this is what he'd be Thinking.

"Oh great Tacy is home. I hope she doesn't sit down in the living room and start singing to herself again."

"Well I guess I don't mind if she sings, but does she realize how LOUD she is singing? She is singing to herself after all, why does it have to be so loud?"

"Oh good! Here comes her sister, maybe she'll shut up now...WAIT! Why did she join her singing?! Don't they realize how off-key they are?!"

"I wish these girls could open their window and let me out, I've had enough!"

"You've got to be kidding me? Reciting poetry? They are reciting poetry? Why on earth are these two girls reciting poetry to each other?!"

"Now they are laughing. Is there any reason for them to be laughing? No! But that doesn't stop them, they chuckle and wheeze and chuckle and wheeze."

"yay! Jessie left to go get in the shower, maybe Tacy will just sit down and watch a show on Netflix."

"Is she talking to me? I don't see anyone else in the room. Is Tacy really speaking plain english to me as though I could respond? Oh... nevermind she is talking to the rabbit."

"Good, she turned on the TV, now maybe she'll be quiet."

"Now why is she crying?"

"Now why is she laughing?"
"Now why is she crying?"

"Now why is she laughing?"

"What is that waffely stick thing she is swinging at......SPLAT"

(I've been kinda bored lately)

Personification

Why do I love this?

And why did Jessie and I spend almost an hour watching other youtube videos posted by klaatu42?

Because it is cute :)

Olive

I noticed that I never blogged about my bunny!

Meet Olive.

She is a lionhead bunny.

She was born January 27th and we got her on March 12th.

She is the cutest thing ever! She hops around our house and uses a litter box and everything.

Her hair is CRAZY long!

The picture above was taken the day we got her. She was tiny.

She is now about double that size and not nearly as black!

We named her Olive cause she was our little black Olive, now she is more of a little grey Olive.

Little White Lies

For a little over a month I've been working in the pre-school classroom.

The other day the teacher and I were using a hot glue gun to put pictures up on the wall (it is the only thing that will stick to the cement wall).

At lunchtime one of the boys said to me, "Miss Tacy, Jakeb has something in his pocket."

I asked Jakeb what he had in his pocket and he said, "A mini water-bottle. I brought it with me to have on the bus in case I get thirsty."

I asked him to take it out of his pocket and he pulled out a glue stick.

I held it and looked at him said said, "What did you say this was?"

He again told me it was a mini water-bottle he brought in case he got thirsty on the bus.

It made me think of what I tried to get away with when I was 4.

Happy Holiday!

I've always considered myself patriotic.

I love the USA!

So today I want to wish everyone a happy National Anthem Day!

My book of 2,001 things to do before I die tells me to memorize the second verse of the Star Spangled Banner.

For a good chunk of my life I thought the second verse was what is actually the fourth verse so memorizing the actual second verse wasn't that easy of a task.

Nevertheless I did it!

Woo-hoo!

The Little Things

Jessie and I got a coupon in the mail the other day for $3.00 off a large Casey's pizza.

Jessie pulled out the coupon to see when it expires and found out it expires February 31st.

Hmmmm

Ya Never Know

I love the Antiques Roadshow.

On Sunday I was watching a show on PBS and I saw a "Tomorrow on Antiques Roadshow" clip and I thought one of the people they showed getting an appraisal looked very familiar.

I tuned in last night to watch and I totally knew someone on there!

You don't have to watch the video, but it's here just in case you want to watch it.

Watch the full episode. See more Antiques Roadshow.

I had to go to physical therapy for my arm and the lady getting the appraisial (Joy) was my physical therapist. Well actually she isn't a physical therapist...she was more like the assistant who helped me do all my arm exercises and stuff.

During therapy we'd talk about the Antiques Roadshow and how much we love the Keno brothers!

It was just fun seeing someone I know on there!

...And it's still snowing!

Yay!

A Blizzard!

And it's still snowing!

We are all stuck at my parents for the night...well all but Nathan who, after unsuccessfully trying for an hour to dig his truck out of the snow, decided to walk home to check on his cats.

Hmmm....not the brightest considering the snow came halfway up Jessie and when I went out to take a picture of Jessie I couldn't see 1 foot in front of me due to the wind.

Fun!
I can't wait to build a snow fort tomorrow!

The Fugitive Moment

I just had a birthday and I can't believe how much I've already lived.

When I was younger (and I am still young...this isn't an 'I'm so old' blog) I seemed to have so many hours in the day, and now I feel like I have so few.

It is already February.

Can you believe it?

I was listening to a hymn today and it said:

"...our time as a stream Glide swiftly away

and the fugitive moment refuses to stay."

It has made me think: What do I do with my fugitive moments?

I have missed quite a few, I've made the most of some, and I hope I have the sense to do the best I can with the ones that remain, because they DO refuse to stay.

This life is meant to be enjoyed, and I know one thing for sure, I'm not going to "waste" my fugitive moments being busy.

"Screw you cat!"

My sister Jessie LOVES animals.

We caught a mouse in my parents house and the mouse was breathing its last breaths and Jessie cried because it was a dying creature.

Animals, though, do not love Jessie.

Jessie and I are on a committee planning a bingo night in Nauvoo. The first meeting we had concerning the bingo night was at a ladies house and she has a cat that she said is "overly loving" and she apologized ahead of time for the cat, because it would probably try to jump in laps or rub against our legs.

It did jump on peoples laps, and it did rub legs, just not Jessies.

Jessie had to go to the last meeting by herself and the cat again was being it's friendly self just not with Jessie.

She was relaying me the story and she said, "...I think I just want animals to love me too much, well SCREW YOU cat!"

Haha.

I thought it was funny.

Do You Believe in Santa?

I've been saddened lately with the amount of people who deny their children the joy of believing in Santa.

Francis P. Church responded to a little girls inquiry about the existence of Santa by saying:

"Yes, Virginia, there is a Santa Claus. He exists as certainly as love and generosity and devotion exist, and you know that they abound and give to your life its highest beauty and joy. Alas! how dreary would be the world if there was no Santa Claus! It would be as dreary as if there were no Virginias. There would be no childlike faith then, no poetry, no romance to make tolerable this existence. We should have no enjoyment, except in sense and sight. The light with which childhood fills the world would be extinguished."

I feel like kids are no longer given the opportunity to be kids, and not believing in Santa is a major factor in that.

Why do people want their kids to grow up so fast? I see so many parents who, as Francis P. Church said, "have been affected by the skepticism of a skeptical age."

What is wrong with a little make believe?

It is OK to believe whole heartily in something that isn't there, it restores our youth!

And Jesus (the reason for this holiday season) even said in Matthew 18:4 "Whosoever therefore shall humble himself as this little child, the same is greatest in the kingdom of heaven."

I think we should all look in ourselves and decide if we believe in Santa.
Instead of growing up, take the time to "humble" yourselves "as a little child", especially now when the opportunity is right at hand!

And as long as you keep your priorities straight there is plenty of room for Santa during this Christmas season!

A Poem

I Hate Christmas Lights

a poem by Tacy Nelson

Christmas lights, so bright and cheery

I love to see you lit,

But when I go to string you yearly

it always ends with a fit.

Why do you refuse to work?

I really don't understand.

You make me feel like a big fat jerk

like YOU have the upper-hand.

All I want is some Christmas cheer,

is that so hard to see?

It only comes this time of year,

so please cooperate with me!

House of Horrors!

I hate the house I'm living in.

The reasons why include:

The owner of the house has his car parked in the two car garage and now that winter is here Jessie and I have to park out in the frosty air and defrost our cars every morning even though we are paying AMPLE money to have a two car garage.

The dishwasher doesn't work.

Someone else's stuff is in our basement and they have a key to our house and on occasion come over when we aren't here. I know who it is and I would have NO problem if they were to ask me if they could come over but knowing that someone is there while I'm not creeps me out. Plus IT'S ILLEGAL, key or not.

The electrical outlet in my bathroom doesn't work so I can't blow dry/straighten my hair in the bathroom and my electric toothbrush can't be plugged in unless I plug it in someone random in the house.

We got a notice in our mailbox that our mailbox isn't regulation height and the box isn't level. This is the 2nd time we got one of these notices and the first time we asked if we could fix it and send the owner the bill and he said no, he'd have someone fix it. It got fixed but it's now broken again. The post office gave us a month to fix our mailbox this time or they'd start holding our mail. I passed that info on but guess what...the mailbox still isn't fixed and as of Dec. 1st the post office has been holding my mail.

In the basement there is a 55 gallon garbage can that a random pipe drips into and we are expected to dump the garbage can every 2 days or so.

The doorbell doesn't work.

After receiving a $300 water bill in June I asked to have a plumber come look at the house and have asked a few times since...it is now December and no plumber has come cause the owner doesn't want to pay for it. Today I went into my bathroom and it smelled NASTY, I thought it was the garbage but it wasn't, there is a giant nasty wet spot all around my toilet (carpeted bathroom...sick) and it smells NASTY. So if someone had come in June when I asked there probably wouldn't be this problem and it would have been a lot cheaper to fix then then it will be now!

I thought I was signing a month to month contract so when the summer was over and a cheaper house was available I could give a 30 day notice and we could move. I guess I signed a year contract so now two of us have to pay what 4 of us were splitting and it is draining our savings and checking accounts and soon all the money we've saved will be gone and the owner of the house is just going to have to sue me because I can no longer afford rent to live in this DUMP of a house.

(none)

I saw this on a motivational poster the other day and thought it was kind of interesting:

Never be afraid to try something new. Remember that a lone amateur built the Ark. A large group of professionals built the Titanic.

I'd like to report that it inspired me to do something epic, but it didn't. It just made me think. Which these days could probably pass off as something epic. I don't seem to do much thinking lately. My mind is a blank slate I never seem to fill up. Which is probably why I haven't blogged a truly entertaining blog in a LONG time.

Hmmm.....