First off listen to #57 on my playlist on the right: "Fred Jones Part 2" by Ben Foldsreally....don't pretend you are listening...actually listen.
I have always had this problem where people mean more to me than I mean to them. I've also been plagued with an amazing memory so I basically never forget anyone. This isn't a joke, just ask my friend Amanda. (ok, she is in Russia so you can't ask her, but honestly...I remember EVERYONE, first name, last name, possibly even their birthday)
So imagine my sadness as I am getting ready to leave Rexburg for the last time and never come back. I have made friends here who I know for a fact I will never see again. And it is ok that I'll never see them again because I know they'll be in my memory but I'm afraid I won't be in their memory. Especially since some of them are still going to be here having fun with their other friends and new people they meet and I'll be out of sight out of mind.
I care way too much what people think of me, which is why I try to make as big an impression on them as I can so they can't forget me but it is inevitable. And I know people forgetting me isn't the worst thing that could happen but in my head it is! I am crazy I know....it shouldn't make me cry....I shouldn't worry about it. I just want everyone to have a "Tacy Void" when I'm not around. haha.
So basically I'm just sad to be leaving everyone. I'm glad that I'll be done with school but I've become so comfortable with it that I am terrified to leave. I don't know if I'm ready. I know that is to be expected but I'm really not taking it very well....at all.
I did have a guy tell me the other day (I gave him a ride cause he was limping and it made me sad) that if he never sees me again he'll look forward to seeing my shining smile in the afterlife. haha. I guess my smile made an impression on him.
Ok...I'll stop crying now...maybe :)
ps: it is never a good idea to leave me alone with my thoughts for too long. I'm my own worst enemy when it comes to that.
pps: this blog makes me seem incredibly needy. If you don't already know that I'm needy then it is a good thing you found out this way instead of having to experience it first hand.
9 comments:
Any time you close one chapter and move to the next it is hard. I am sure you have made an impression on more people than you think!
it is very sad to move on...but those important people will never really be gone...
and...i have no doubt that there will be a tacy void in peoples lives...you make quite an impression...
I already have a Tacy Void. It's a good thing it will be filled next week!! :D I'm not even going to talk about the rest because I don't want to admit that you're going to be gone. And I don't want to think about when I get to that point in my life.
WHAT THE FRICK TACY!!! You have reader's from such places as Croatia?!?! This is awesome.
Big changes in life are always tough. But the next adventure in life is just around the corner, and sure to be even better than the one you're leaving now! hug.
Tacy you are awesome. Giving that guy a ride made me proud to be your friend.
You better come back to visit! I'm gonna be needing my Tacy void filled.
Wahh! Everybody's growing up and leaving me!! D:
I read your blog!
tacy tacy tacy, i have only met you, what, maybe two months ago and i have to say that you are one of the most memorable people(persons?..your the genious fill in the correct word for that sentance!!) i have ever met. i will never ever forget you!! and hey next time im in michigan and your in navoo(spelling?) maybe we can meet in chicago or something its half way!!! you make me laugh and make me so happy, its hard to be sad when im around you!! stay smiling!
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