(sorry this one will probably be boring for anyone besides my family or those who care about my personal life...I'll post something fun and interesting later)
please listen to #80 on my playlist while reading
As I was driving home on July 24th I couldn't help but feel a little reluctant.
Don't get me wrong, I love spending time with my family and I love being at home but I graduated from college and I have NO clue what I want to do with my life and I didn't really want to get comfortable at home and never move on with my life.
I remember in January thinking "I will NOT move back home when I graduate, that'll be a social death sentence!" Nevertheless...I didn't make any other plans and going home just fit in the cards.
Even on July 24th I wasn't sure if it was the right decision.
I was thinking about how much I was going to miss being a college student and how much I was going to miss Rexburg and all my friends and how much I was going to miss the "comfort" of knowing what was next.
As excited as I was to see my family and be home I couldn't seem to convince myself that everything was going to work out and being home wasn't going to be the death sentence I thought it was.
As Sophie and I left the Rockies and approached the Mid-West we were greeted by an amazing lightning storm.
With every bolt of beautiful lightning I felt more and more at ease with what was happening. I was first reminded of how much I miss REAL storms (Idahoans don't know what they're missing). I was reminded of how much I love being home and how much lay ahead. Yes, I was closing one door, and while one might not be open right now one will open as long as I keep looking for it.
That lightning storm was a tender mercy and I lost sight of the comfort that I felt from that storm because only a few hours after witnessing that storm I rolled my car.
I guess rolling your car would make anyone stop and say "was I doing the right thing? was 'someone' trying to stop me from coming home?" and the feelings of doubt have flooded me.
It could be the hours and days and weeks I've spent alone with my thoughts (which never proves healthy) but again I was questioning myself and where I am.
But last night I couldn't sleep (nothing new there) and I had the privilege of watching another amazing lightning storm which reminded me of that July 24th night and how sure I was then that I was making the right decision and the feelings of comfort that started masking the uncertain feelings of an unknown future.
So sorry to anyone out here who is afraid of lightning or hates storms because I'm sure every time I am doubting myself another storm will come alone to remind me that things are ok.
Don't get me wrong, I love spending time with my family and I love being at home but I graduated from college and I have NO clue what I want to do with my life and I didn't really want to get comfortable at home and never move on with my life.
I remember in January thinking "I will NOT move back home when I graduate, that'll be a social death sentence!" Nevertheless...I didn't make any other plans and going home just fit in the cards.
Even on July 24th I wasn't sure if it was the right decision.
I was thinking about how much I was going to miss being a college student and how much I was going to miss Rexburg and all my friends and how much I was going to miss the "comfort" of knowing what was next.
As excited as I was to see my family and be home I couldn't seem to convince myself that everything was going to work out and being home wasn't going to be the death sentence I thought it was.
As Sophie and I left the Rockies and approached the Mid-West we were greeted by an amazing lightning storm.
With every bolt of beautiful lightning I felt more and more at ease with what was happening. I was first reminded of how much I miss REAL storms (Idahoans don't know what they're missing). I was reminded of how much I love being home and how much lay ahead. Yes, I was closing one door, and while one might not be open right now one will open as long as I keep looking for it.
That lightning storm was a tender mercy and I lost sight of the comfort that I felt from that storm because only a few hours after witnessing that storm I rolled my car.
I guess rolling your car would make anyone stop and say "was I doing the right thing? was 'someone' trying to stop me from coming home?" and the feelings of doubt have flooded me.
It could be the hours and days and weeks I've spent alone with my thoughts (which never proves healthy) but again I was questioning myself and where I am.
But last night I couldn't sleep (nothing new there) and I had the privilege of watching another amazing lightning storm which reminded me of that July 24th night and how sure I was then that I was making the right decision and the feelings of comfort that started masking the uncertain feelings of an unknown future.
So sorry to anyone out here who is afraid of lightning or hates storms because I'm sure every time I am doubting myself another storm will come alone to remind me that things are ok.
9 comments:
thank you for sharing that, but now i need a lightning storm
I am glad that I am not the only one that finds good from the lightning storms. They remind me every time that the Lord knows what is best for us in our lives. As long as I remember to put my trust in him I don't get burnt from those stray lightning bolts of life that could really hurt me.
Thanks for sharing this, Tacy. I am so glad that you have learned to listen to the spirit for look for those "tender mercies" the Lord sends. I hope you don't doubt that I love you!
I was reading about tender mercies on Sunday...
Also...(and I say this now that I've moved away)...there is really not a whole lot wrong with living at home after college (or at least your home town). I did it for 4 years...and...sometimes I really want to move back. I mean...I don't regret moving at all...and I don't plan on moving again for a while...but not a day goes by that I don't think...man...I miss Nauvoo...a lot...but I think that is just because that is I lived my entire stinking life...and I'll always love it and always wish I could still be there...
And I sure do miss those lightening storms. We get heat lightening out here...during monsoon season...but it's not like at home...with those ones that light up the night sky like it's noon...
I loved this post Tacy! And the song was perfect too. Made me fee relaxed while having a crazy morning at work. It's amazing how different things that are sent to us can be interpreted in so many different ways!
I don't see anything wrong with moving back in with your parents after you graduate...I'm sure I will be doing the same thing. Lots of people do it.
And I agree about lightening storms. So many people are missing out on what a true storm is!! I miss them. Given, the ones in Vegas are different from your storms, but I have experienced them both, and they are both quite amazing. People really are missing out on a great show and a witness to the power the Lord has over all of us. It's so awesome. Miss you!
I enjoyed this post muchly Tacy. Thanx for sharing. Sometime soon we should hang out again. Surely we can squeeze each other in to our busy schedules...
Oh, and that's one cu-RAZYYY lightning photo!!
ok...you are now closer to the bottom of my updated blogs list than you are to the top...
do something about that will ya?
:) Thanks for sharing that. You are so amazing.
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