It's Been a Year

The day Kacy Grace died was single handedly the saddest day of my life.

She brought so much happiness and joy to not only me, but to everyone who knew her.

I often have moments where I am overcome with sadness for the loss of my sweet baby girl.

And though I miss her SO much, I can't help but think about how much peace I feel when I think about where she is, and who she is with.

Sitting in the hospital, after holding her for the last time, my mind immediately went to the picture "Heavenly Hands" by Greg Olsen.  People have told me how much the little girl in the picture looked like me when I was little, and people had also told me how much Kacy looked like me. The picture, to me, illustrated what was happening beyond this realm, at that very moment. And though I cried (and still cry when I see it) I felt comfort.

The first day I went to work after she left us (after taking the Disney CD with the song Baby Mine out of rotation) I heard Vocal Point singing Danny Boy, and they added a verse at the end that again, reminded me of Kacy Grace and the picture:

"So if you've died and crossed the stream before us,

we pray that angels met you on the shore;

and you'll look down and gently you'll implore us,

to live that we may see your smiling face once more."

I am comforted because I know she is in good hands.

I am comforted because I know she is happy.

I am comforted because I know I will see Kacy Grace again one day, and she'll be waiting for me on the shore, smiling (and probably doing a bunny face).

Foul

I am amazed by the amount of people I see not wash their hands.

I'm not a lover of public restrooms, but if I have to use one, I will.  The other day a woman flushed, came out of the stall, checked herself out in the mirror, fixed her hair, and then walked out of the bathroom, WITHOUT washing her hands. What did she touch as she left the store? What fruit did she test for ripeness? What cart was she using?

I am just amazed that grown adults can't be bothered to do such a basic hygienic practice.

On another note. A while ago I was again in a public restroom. There was a little girl standing by the paper towels waiting for her mom to finish. I went to the sink to wash my hands, and as I squirted soap on my hands (pre running them under the water) the little girl said, "Hey! You're supposed to get your hands wet FIRST and THEN put soap on them!"

It was funny.

Not so smarty pants!

I've been told I'm a smart person.

I would agree, but......sometimes I'm really really NOT smart.

Here are a few examples.

In church there is always a bell that rings loudly throughout the building sometime near the end of the second hour of church.  For 28 years I thought that bell was just some stupid kid ringing the doorbell outside the church.  Turns out it is a 5 minute warning bell so the Sunday School teachers know when to quit.

As a kid in primary we sang a song called Nephi's Courage.  In the chorus it says, "I know the Lord provides a way, he wants me to obey."  Up until a few months ago I thought it said, "I know the Lord provides away, he wants me to obey." As if providing like leaving, and the Lord "provides" away.  Like running away, he "provides" away.  Yeah.....seriously, thought that for like 25 years.

I've lived in Nauvoo my whole life.  The main street uptown is called Mulholland.  If driving west out of town on Mulholland street, the road naturally curves so you are now headed south.  OR you can go straight, but with the road, it feels natural to go around the curve.  Two days ago, I realized that when the street curves, it stops being Mulholland street and becomes Durphy street. So if someone is looking for the State Park they will find it on Durphy Street.  My mind was blown.

A few years ago I went to the DMV to get my license renewed. As we were doing the eye exam (which required me looking into a tiny machine), the lady asked me to read line 8. I read it, which went something like, "a,s,v,d,", and she said, "can you finish the line?" And I said, "that's all that is there." So she said, "...ummm can you read the line above it?" So I did, and it went something like this, "u,t,p,f,". And again she said, "can you finish the line?" And again I said, "there aren't anymore letters." So now she was quasi worried and asked me to read the very top line. I said, "ok, but it only has 4 letters too." She had me pull my face back from the machine, and as I did I realized my right eye was closed during the whole exam. I looked back in the machine, and four more letters appeared on the end of each line.

Haha! Right?!

They gave me a license anyway.

The Power IN Prayer

I was scrolling through Pinterest the other day and I came across this quote:

Our prayers may be awkward. Our attempts may be feeble. But since the power of prayer is in the One who hears it and not in the one who says it, our prayers DO make a difference. -Max Lucado

There is a lady from our community who has been coming to church every Sunday for the past couple of months. She knows a lot of us from working within the community, so I think she is comfortable being there, but not until recently did she make comments in Sunday School or Relief Society. This past Sunday I had to find a person to say the prayer in Relief Society before conducting.  I immediately thought of asking her, because I just really want her to feel included.  Being a Baptist (or former Baptist) I wasn't sure if she would accept.  I asked her and she looked at me like, "are you sure?!", and said, "I'd be honored!"

Her prayer was definitely not a "typical" LDS prayer.  She didn't say "Thee", or "Thou", or "Thy", or "Dear Heavenly Father", but there WAS a spirit brought to the room because of her prayer.

It just reaffirms the quote.

The power of our prayers isn't in the clever things we try to say. (Cause let's face it, whenever I have to say a prayer for a group, I spend lots of time trying to rehearse the prayer in my head so I don't sound like an imbecile when I stand up.)  The power rests solely on our Heavenly Father, and if we sincerely desire what we are praying for (not matter HOW we say it) He WILL answer it.

Really?

My love of infomercials has inspired a blog before, but I found a couple on youtube that I couldn't pass up the opportunity to share with anyone who still reads my blog.

Enjoy!

Have I Stooped?

I hope my blog doesn't just turn into a rant blog but I have to rant at the moment.

Feel free to stop reading because this is more of a therapy for me than entertainment for anyone else.

Instead of giving a big back story I'm just going to say that the owner of our building, Gregg Bragg, is....mean.

He told us he was going to see how possible it was get central heat and air in our building, and it IS possible, but it is going to cost him $5,000 (pocket change for him, might I add) so he told us he was just going to get us window units.

Well here is the problem with window units in our apartment:

The windows in our apartment are OLD and rotting away and there is about a 1/4 inch gap where the wood has rotted away from the glass and it allows all kinds of things (including precious COOL air) to escape.

The electric wiring in our apartment is OLD. Instead of having outlets that have two plugs (both being grounded) the outlets we have have three plugs and none of them are grounded. And the outlets are few and far between, so they are all occupied.

If he is going to give us window units he can at least buy NEW window units instead of giving us the circa 1970 units his handyman (and newly hired handyman sidekick) just installed.

The handyman was given orders to put a window unit in the bedroom and hallway (those windows are literally like 10 feet apart). But given the old electricity there are no outlets in hallway, so that means he put a unit in the kitchen instead. Plus the handyman was given orders to not put window units in the living room because the living room faces the street and that would "look tacky". Well we LIVE in the living room! I'd rather have a window unit in the living room then the kitchen!

All he does is cosmetic work! Make it look nice and no one will ask questions.

I saw a poll on his stores facebook page (Cover to Cover books and gifts) asking what the design for the awnings on his newly refurbished building should look like.

I am tempted to post a comment on that poll that reads something like this:

"How about instead of sprucing up the outside of the building, you fix the inside first!"

UPDATE:

Jessie called Gregg to inform him of our disappointments and I think he was trying to win her over by telling her of his plans to give us HEATED SIDEWALKS, but we aren't won over!

SCREW THE HEATED SIDEWALKS!

If You were a Fly on my Wall

If there was a Fly on my Wall this is what he'd be Thinking.

"Oh great Tacy is home. I hope she doesn't sit down in the living room and start singing to herself again."

"Well I guess I don't mind if she sings, but does she realize how LOUD she is singing? She is singing to herself after all, why does it have to be so loud?"

"Oh good! Here comes her sister, maybe she'll shut up now...WAIT! Why did she join her singing?! Don't they realize how off-key they are?!"

"I wish these girls could open their window and let me out, I've had enough!"

"You've got to be kidding me? Reciting poetry? They are reciting poetry? Why on earth are these two girls reciting poetry to each other?!"

"Now they are laughing. Is there any reason for them to be laughing? No! But that doesn't stop them, they chuckle and wheeze and chuckle and wheeze."

"yay! Jessie left to go get in the shower, maybe Tacy will just sit down and watch a show on Netflix."

"Is she talking to me? I don't see anyone else in the room. Is Tacy really speaking plain english to me as though I could respond? Oh... nevermind she is talking to the rabbit."

"Good, she turned on the TV, now maybe she'll be quiet."

"Now why is she crying?"

"Now why is she laughing?"
"Now why is she crying?"

"Now why is she laughing?"

"What is that waffely stick thing she is swinging at......SPLAT"

(I've been kinda bored lately)